In every relationship draw your boundaries.
It
is perfectly alright to outline what works for you and what does not. When you
work towards pleasing someone in a relationship, at the cost of your own peace,
you are actually suffering. And nothing ever__including a close
relationship__is worth if it is born out of__or at the cost of__your suffering.
Most
of us fail to draw up these contours and therefore end up in grief when there
are moral, emotional or physical transgressions. Ideally, of course, if there
is pure, undiluted love and sharing there is no need for such boundary-setting.
The problem occurs when there is a transgression. At the first such instance,
it is always advisable to place on the table candidly what works for you and
what does not. When we fail to do that, we allow for a repeat of the same,
irksome or unacceptable behavior. When we do that, we cross a temporary chasm
of raw emotion, laced with pronounced discomfort, but enter into a perpetual
state of peace and harmony. This applies in all relationships__spouses,
parent-child, boss-subordinate, neighbors, siblings.
Candor's biggest contributions to Life are invaluable: trust, peace
and joy! Try
it. You will find that it works__wonders!
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